I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again

Having been at dinner over at Eton College the other night, it was interesting to see the responce as we all came around the corridor to be confronted by this painting of the brothers and to reflect on the recent news.  

It seems to me that Harry was looking for a way out and Meghan became his ticket to do so. I always said that as an independent woman, already in her mid 30s, so very used to leading her own life, she was never going to find it easy to curtail her freedom either physically or metaphorically. I watched her style in clothing change and there was one moment when I looked at her outfit and said she had been 'royal-fied' - it was never going to look awful because she is a beautiful woman, but it didn't suit her and she looked rather trussed up. Being told what you can't do all the time must be stultifying and suffocating. However much she might have been going to modernise the royal family, it was never going to be enough for a 21st century fashionable woman.

What is Harry's role too? The 'spare' who is falling further and further back in the lineage - he needs to find a role for himself where he can be proud to stand up and be Harry Windsor. Being Royal does nothing for your individual identity. He has made the most of his life so far, but I am sure that seeing Meghan's independence of thought and being has had a strong influence. Whether he can hack it is another thing. It will feel so liberating right now and the thought they can now make their own money and not be beholden to the public purse must feel like a relief. They have the freedom to pursue their interests and create their own empire out of their seemingly huge fan base. 

I wonder how that will look a few years down the line though? Right now, there is still a lot of interest and sympathy for them, however I can envisage a scenario where their lack of Royal status means they lose a bit of that sparkle and magic they had brought along, where it is all becomes a bit jaded. The very thing that allows them to be priceless as members of the Royal family, may well lose its appeal when they are yet two more celebrities trying to flog their latest perfume range or whatever it is. What they have access to now isn't really quantifiable; it seems stifling but comes with some knowledge and wisdom of experience; I am talking of the protocol around, yes, dress, and etiquette, and the huge protection they are offered from the world of celebrity. The latter is the world that Meghan knows, but Harry doesn't. He has always been an outsider in this field, albeit welcomed in, but now, far away from home, it will be all he has. 

Which brings us to friendships. I am sure the Markle clan seem very liberated and appealing at this moment, but what is the reality as he becomes a man alone in his wife's (and son's) company, on her territory, many miles from any of his buddies? I can imagine she is looking forward to hanging out with her friends, doing a bit of yoga, having lunch, and unless Harry has something to do, he will either be at home, or trying to hang out too. 

Is this a case of the 'other man's grass'? Harry has never known a life not being Royal. He has had all the privileges of that along with the restrictions. I find it hard to believe he is now prepared for an 'ordinary' life. It will never be the life of you or I, but to Harry, that looks attractive, maybe he thinks he knows what that will be like. No longer having to be on ceremony when you just want to lie in bed; not having to dress up formally all the time; no bad feeling about where you have to stand on that balcony; oh the joy of those demands being taken away. Yet for Harry, they have been a part of his life since he was born, he has merely dipped a toe into the pool of the rest of life as we all know it. In one sense his old life offered a structure and boundaries. Without that, I wonder how rudderless he will be. He has. of course, had a military background which offers guidance through that strict regime and unquestioning attitudes. Can he bring that to bear in his civilian life now? 

I am sure there are more elements that have gone into this decision which we might never understand. I feel for William in all this. He never wanted to be King, has taken on the duty required of him and used to have the support of his brother. Together they were a strong team, or so it appeared. Now Harry is leaving him to get on with it and William must grit his teeth further and dig on in. There will probably be a sense of betrayal as William must have wanted to walk away from it on many occasion and the unfairness of seeing his brother able to do that will underline that further. He and Kate have to explain to their children that they won't be seeing very much of their cousin and it means the spotlight can no longer be shared. William, Kate and family will face all the scrutiny. I wouldn't be surprised if there were not another baby in that household in the coming year as they try and get back to 'normal'.

Charles must be feeling a mix of emotions as his youngest son waves goodbye to begin his new life, leaving him with the prospect of a grandson who will know him less and less. If Harry and Meghan manage to split their time effectively, maybe some of that can be averted. I assume the machinery can allow Charles to visit without it being announced every time, but the turmoil

must be there for Charles. The Queen has made the best of it and offered a way back but she loses her grandson and great grandson and repeatedly she has made announcements as a grandmother first. She must be very aware that with Prince Philip being frailer and her own advancing age, this is the end of an era. 

Where we born and to whom is something none of us can control. There is much talk about a life of privilege, but how do you determine what that is? Financial privilege is merely one aspect of that. With their kind of privilege comes huge duty and personal integrity, but you can't just slap that on somebody if they don't see it that way. (unless you are Heir apparent it would seem). 

Personally I don't want to see the furtive snaps of Harry and Meghan in the news in the coming years; I am not interested in seeing Meghan at an exercise class or in buying memorabilia associated with them. I am sure their Royal life was very constrained and made Meghan very unhappy. She didn't seem to give the UK much of a chance and I wonder what Archie will make of it when he is older? I wonder if the irony is that their son will hanker after the life he feels he should have lead? One thing is for sure, that grass always looks greener.