Charting my journey through breast duct removal - the recovery

And so it came to pass that the single duct had been found  and removed and I had a tiny scar. Not that I could see it initially as I had dressings galore. I then discovered I was actually allergic to silcone dressings - good job I wasn't in line for a breast enhancement. The irritation caused some opening of the skin - thankfully not on the actual scar, but around it and I ended up visiting the local surgery for a nurse to remove the dressings and change the thinking around that. 

Despite being told I would have to keep up the codeine to stop the pain coming back, that Fentanyl had done the trick and although I took a few tablets, something told me I was going to be ok and so it proved. I now have a huge jar of codeine and an entire bottle of laxative hidden away!

I dutifully wore my bras 24/7 - well I obviously changed them frequently, ie daily - and this was not as onerous as I had imagined. I did g and buy a sexy leopard print number from 'cosabella' which slipped over and held me snug. I loved that bra! 


I think it is very important to create positive vibes around any kind of surgery because your body takes a hit and you can feel overwhelmed. probably this bra single handedly helped me feel like I was still all woman.

This surgery also altered my lifetime habit of wearing under-wired bras for support. Thankfully, bra technologly has moved on and enables far more of us than in previous generations.

Two weeks after my surgery I was on bracing walks in the Yorkshire Dales, surrounded by my family and tended by my husband. 

I was really glad to find my positive mind set once more which had deserted me when I was going through the initial porcess and I suppose it was because I felt a lack of control.

It sorted out for me the people who will always support me and sadly it terminated my tricky relationship with one member of my close family who found my momentary panic to be a call for attention and inappropriate for the impending surgery and decalred it so all over my facebook post. After all it wasn't breast cancer. I wasn't under a life threat. How dare I be so pathetic when there are other, far worse things happening to people. My sensibility was cancelled.

But you see, it isn't the severity or lack of it of that you are facing at any one moment in time; it is your relationship with yourself and how you react to something. It is finding out how to negotiate your fears so they become distant and about how to alleviate the panic. 

Expressing and acknowledging how you feel is the beginning of the process of acceptance and change. Every one of us could easily judge others according to our own version of what is important and scary or not, but that really is cancel culture at its worst. It is a form of gaslighting that dismisses very real fears. None of us want to stay in a fearful place. It was a new experience for me so took a while to work out what I did next, but I got there and if my ramblings help somebody else, then the journey was more than worth it.

Along the way I met some peopel who totally got it. They were not necessarily in the health sector, but the kind lady in M & S when i went in for advice and was told the nxt bra fitting service was a month away (after my surgery date). I thanked her and turned away and felt tears in my eyes - it was at the time when i couldn't 'fix' anything. Something made her turn and come back to me.

"I can see you are upset" she said, "I'll make time now, don't worry. Come with me"

Her act of kindness changed the complexion of my day and I will never forget that. 

Who will you never forget? 


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