TOP TIPS FOR CALMING NERVES AT YOUR WEDDING

 How can I cope with my nerves on the day?

This is such a common worry for many people. I mean how often do you really have to be on show so evidently and speak clearly in front of a whole room of people when you are feeling emotional? Your wedding day is one such occasion and can cause sleepless nights leading up to the event.

First of all, use a resource you have available to you constantly - that of breath. It seems such a little thing to do, but focussing on your breath is a brilliant way to calm yourself. I'll let you into a secret - for all my high level performing experience, on my wedding day, I too was nervous as I walked down the aisle! So, actively breathe differently, and the first thing is to breathe out and expel some of that excess air you will have taken in! Then breathe for specific counts - in for 5 out for 10; increase that if necessary in for 8 out for 20 for example. you can make up your own numbers, but the out breath needs to be longer than the in breath. This calms your system.

Make sure you stay hydrated. Ask your chief bridesmaid/best man or whoever is going to be with you, to keep access to a small bottle of water. I usually have one available for my couples just before we start. 

Nerves are really excitement, but because you are on an emotional high, it is very easy to pick up other peoples' emotions and end up carrying them! So have a moment of inner quiet just before you set off, maybe think about your partner and focus on the love you feel for them, all the kind things you do for each other, where you are having the reception or gathering, what you have planned for the evening with friends and family. This thinking distracts your brain from going into overload.

Use visualisation as a tool. Imagine the ceremony being the best ever (you have me there so this will be a reality!) - visualise yourself in the moment saying your vows and being clear and being calm. Create the picture of your perfect ceremony on a film screen and notice the colours around you, the smell of the flowers, become aware of putting one foot in front of the other as you walk or the sense of sitting on the chair as you wait. You can be as imaginative as you like, but keep it very real at the same time.


When it comes to saying your vows, always breathe before speaking. It may seem like an age when doing that, but I promise you, nobody will notice! Often people will tell advise you to 'use your big voice'. What that means is to imagine your head like a chamber where sound resonates around and aim to fill that chamber. A useful thing is to imagine a destination for your sound to end up. You will have the love of your life with you, willing you on, so keep things slooooooow! Enjoy the words, savour the words - you may well have been instrumental in writing them, and they should be familiar as you will have practised them beforehand.

And even if you are shaking from head to toe throughout, it doesn't matter. Never will you have so many people in one space on your side! 










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Imagine!

 Imagine John Lennon’s song might have been a political statement, yet, within it he invites pictures to swirl around your head as you think about the concepts. He plays into the richness of being human, the ability to use imagination, and this is also the world of singing. There has been an alarming trend to take imagination out of singing teaching and replace it with the bare reality of what is happening. How many lessons do I witness where, once again, the singer is taken back to some technical aspect when they have the ability to sing well enough, and what is really needed is the freeing of the imagination for the next ‘stage’? Somehow it is as if we never get beyond that; we can’t let the singer grow up. There is a credible argument that not everybody thinks the same way, therefore what is valid for the teacher, may be a vacuum for the other learner in the room. Using more neutral, less colourfully imaginative ideas is more helpful. As a former classroom teacher, I could concu...
Read more

Unwrapping the voice

Image
I often get asked what genre I teach in singing and I usually say classical and music theatre. I now think this is a limited and loaded question! People, naturally, make decisions on my response, yet what I teach is much more useful.  I teach how to make a voice function. I teach the mechanics of vocal operation so that the singer is empowered to make a choice as to which genre they wish to pursue. There is nothing more powerful than knowing how to make a sound that is stable and secure; knowing that when you open your mouth, that sound is available to you.  The setting up of a voice is the longest and most complex element in voicing.   Understanding the subtleties of muscular and cellular interchange to create the widest palate of sounds you can find. More importantly, gaining control so that the emerging sound is smooth and clear and at your command. That involves practising across the whole of the vocal range of which you are capable and understanding that this will al...
Read more

Flippin' singing teachers

Image
  Flippin' singing teachers There are some phenomenal singing teachers and singers out there and long may that continue. Therefore, I am very sad when students end up at my door who have been intimidated, have lost confidence and feel they can no longer sing at all. It’s one thing to reach the requirements of an exacting music course, but it is quite another to be undermined by somebody who has lost their integrity when it comes to teaching (if they ever had it). My first degree is in education, back in the day when that was a qualification fit for purpose. I have always retained much of what is the beating heart of excellent teaching: working with what you have in front of you; listening to your student; seeking endlessly different ways to explain something; steering a course through the multiple aspects of using your subject; reading around the subject; having empathy as a core skill; seeking knowledge but also acknowledging what your own strengths are that you bring; supporti...
Read more